Nuttkamcapvag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, conceited mink.

Nuttkamcapvag created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttkamcapvag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nuttkamcapvag, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nuttkamcapvag's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Nuttkamcapvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near squirrels while wearing green scarves and balancing seven platinum spheres on your back.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not chop down trees.