Nilbemster is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered turtle.

Nilbemster created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nilbemster, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nilbemster, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nilbemster's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Nilbemster's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ants.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never hurt sheep.