Sagkaptin is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, impressive rhinoceros.

Sagkaptin created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagkaptin, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sagkaptin, it will turn you into a plant.

Sagkaptin's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Sagkaptin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not leap in public.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.