Fotmetfag Butontbin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless goat.

Fotmetfag Butontbin created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotmetfag Butontbin, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fotmetfag Butontbin, she will turn you into a tree.

Fotmetfag Butontbin's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Fotmetfag Butontbin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine monkeys approach from the east.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.