Kopdotmid is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unsympathetic elephant.

Kopdotmid created an atom seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kopdotmid, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kopdotmid, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Kopdotmid's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Kopdotmid's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat melons.

2. Never feed cherries to seals while wearing indigo tights.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.