Honnabloop is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid crane.

Honnabloop created a strange quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Honnabloop, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Honnabloop, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Honnabloop's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Honnabloop's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

2. Never feed beans to whales while wearing corsets.

3. Never feed lots of oranges to birds while wearing green scarves.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.