Cebnakgun Bagnarmab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, duplicitous zebra.

Cebnakgun Bagnarmab created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebnakgun Bagnarmab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cebnakgun Bagnarmab, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Cebnakgun Bagnarmab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Cebnakgun Bagnarmab's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. You must pray to Cebnakgun Bagnarmab eight times a day.