Faslunzed is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish shrew.

Faslunzed created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Faslunzed, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Faslunzed, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Faslunzed's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Faslunzed's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must love Faslunzed.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.