Bagdonyam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, selfish penguin.

Bagdonyam created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagdonyam, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bagdonyam, it will turn you into a tree.

Bagdonyam's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bagdonyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never think about optics near whales while wearing yellow rings and balancing five silicon spheres on your feet.

5. Fast once a month.