Volfemsagzanwangess is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, temperamental snake.

Volfemsagzanwangess created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Volfemsagzanwangess, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Volfemsagzanwangess, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Volfemsagzanwangess' most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Volfemsagzanwangess' Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of geese.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Moths are not to be trusted.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help cats in need.