Flabgenbanpanfligrutkim is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, prudent troll.

Flabgenbanpanfligrutkim created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabgenbanpanfligrutkim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flabgenbanpanfligrutkim, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flabgenbanpanfligrutkim's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Flabgenbanpanfligrutkim's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Flabgenbanpanfligrutkim on top of all buildings.

5. You must pray to Flabgenbanpanfligrutkim six times a day.