Sitstipcum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless meerkat.

Sitstipcum created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitstipcum, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sitstipcum, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Sitstipcum's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Sitstipcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt rats.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Do not take Sitstipcum's name in vain.

4. Always help turtles in need.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.