Tapbognargatkonhug Tenwabcud is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, boastful hippopotamus.

Tapbognargatkonhug Tenwabcud created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapbognargatkonhug Tenwabcud, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tapbognargatkonhug Tenwabcud, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tapbognargatkonhug Tenwabcud's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tapbognargatkonhug Tenwabcud's Holy Commandments

1. Tapbognargatkonhug Tenwabcud loves doves, so they must be respected.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about chromosomes.