Farnlabsin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, happy wyrm.

Farnlabsin created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnlabsin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Farnlabsin, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Farnlabsin's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Farnlabsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing green boots and balancing six platinum spheres on your arms.