Jipmonpag Vagnellwegdag is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, calm armadillo.

Jipmonpag Vagnellwegdag created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipmonpag Vagnellwegdag, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jipmonpag Vagnellwegdag, she will not care at all.

Jipmonpag Vagnellwegdag's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Jipmonpag Vagnellwegdag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear violet stockings.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always help sick whales.