Fobxuckcam Haktimlig is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy porpoise.

Fobxuckcam Haktimlig created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Fobxuckcam Haktimlig, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fobxuckcam Haktimlig, she will turn you into a tree.

Fobxuckcam Haktimlig's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Fobxuckcam Haktimlig's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Always help mice.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Always obey Fobxuckcam Haktimlig's priests.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.