Ditcapkem is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, astonishing monkey.

Ditcapkem created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditcapkem, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ditcapkem, he will not care at all.

Ditcapkem's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Ditcapkem's Holy Commandments

1. Ditcapkem loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

2. Never mention rats.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ditcapkem.