Monlapnut Fottafdod is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, idiotic goose.

Monlapnut Fottafdod created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Monlapnut Fottafdod, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Monlapnut Fottafdod, he will curse you with boils.

Monlapnut Fottafdod's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Monlapnut Fottafdod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Put Monlapnut Fottafdod first in all things.

3. Do not keep four ants in a large pit.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Run away from indigo voles, for they are unholy.