Dimsogfasmisster is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, all-knowing grasshopper.

Dimsogfasmisster created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimsogfasmisster, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dimsogfasmisster, she will jump up and down on your head.

Dimsogfasmisster's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Dimsogfasmisster's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not eat tomatoes.

3. Never feed lots of garlic to dogs while wearing violet boots.

4. Always treat whales with great respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.