Quafgofced is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciful guinea pig.

Quafgofced created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafgofced, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quafgofced, it will be mildly annoyed.

Quafgofced's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Quafgofced's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to goats while wearing yellow skirts.

2. Hide from magenta gulls for they are unholy.

3. Always wear green.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near birds while wearing mauve dresses.