Lakjinvonk is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, confident human.

Lakjinvonk created the Sol system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakjinvonk, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lakjinvonk, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Lakjinvonk's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Lakjinvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Whales are not to be trusted.

5. Do not commit murder.