Yargetfud is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, sage dryad.

Yargetfud created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yargetfud, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yargetfud, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Yargetfud's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Yargetfud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about corn.

2. Always help otters in need.

3. Do not take Yargetfud's name in vain.

4. Run away if seven hamsters approach from the west.

5. Never talk about gravity near pigs while wearing pink rings and balancing four silicon spheres on your head.