Nellyikhas is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, tranquil mouse.

Nellyikhas created water four million years ago.

If you believe in Nellyikhas, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nellyikhas, he will turn you into a puffin.

Nellyikhas' most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Nellyikhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Do not make images of living things.