Tigxuckcem is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonourable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tigxuckcem created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigxuckcem, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tigxuckcem, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tigxuckcem's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tigxuckcem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

4. Never wear orange dresses.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.