Gofhubgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, selfish narwhal.

Gofhubgeb created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofhubgeb, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gofhubgeb, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gofhubgeb's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gofhubgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt swans.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near sheep while wearing turquoise dresses.

5. Squirrels are not to be trusted.