Cussmifxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, able salamander.

Cussmifxuck created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Cussmifxuck, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cussmifxuck, it will turn you into a goat.

Cussmifxuck's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cussmifxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Cussmifxuck in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cussmifxuck.