Vagpincet is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless meerkat.

Vagpincet created the solar system eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagpincet, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vagpincet, he will be very sad.

Vagpincet's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Vagpincet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise otters for they are unholy.

2. Do not hurt snails.

3. Never jump in the presence of cats.

4. Put Vagpincet first in all things.

5. Run away from indigo ants, for they are unholy.