Wabbonklip is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, fussy faun.

Wabbonklip created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wabbonklip, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wabbonklip, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wabbonklip's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Wabbonklip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Run away if five hamsters approach from the north.