Wapbellcun is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate newt.

Wapbellcun created gold eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapbellcun, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wapbellcun, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wapbellcun's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Wapbellcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about grasshopers.

3. Do not take Wapbellcun's name in vain.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Put Wapbellcun first in all things.