Futcubgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, weak hippopotamus.

Futcubgeb created the Virgo Supercluster eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Futcubgeb, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Futcubgeb, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Futcubgeb's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Futcubgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near manatees.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Futcubgeb must be the most important thing in your life.