Govkabarf is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, merciful porpoise.

Govkabarf created silver seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govkabarf, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Govkabarf, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Govkabarf's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Govkabarf's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat aubergines.

2. Do not speak about lentils.

3. Feed all hungry porpoises.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never paint your legs orange.