Watwanmig Fagwap is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, benevolent owl.

Watwanmig Fagwap created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watwanmig Fagwap, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Watwanmig Fagwap, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Watwanmig Fagwap's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Watwanmig Fagwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never paint your arms purple.

3. Never feed strawberries to capybaras while wearing turquoise dresses.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.