Linfun is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, clever dove.

Linfun created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Linfun, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Linfun, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Linfun's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Linfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Always obey Linfun's priests.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Worship no other gods but Linfun.