Bigkimten is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonourable rhinoceros.

Bigkimten created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Bigkimten, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bigkimten, he will turn you into a hamster.

Bigkimten's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bigkimten's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always look after injured squirrels.

3. Erect a giant red sculpture of Bigkimten in the centre of the settlement.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bigkimten.