Timafven Targlargbam is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, almighty dugong.

Timafven Targlargbam created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timafven Targlargbam, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Timafven Targlargbam, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Timafven Targlargbam's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Timafven Targlargbam's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Timafven Targlargbam.

2. Worship no other gods but Timafven Targlargbam.

3. Feed all hungry ducks.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect your elders.