Monlagtargqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, loving eagle.

Monlagtargqueeg created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monlagtargqueeg, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Monlagtargqueeg, it will make you grow a tail.

Monlagtargqueeg's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Monlagtargqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near tortoises.

2. Never think ill of sick mites.

3. Run away if four geese approach from the south.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Erect nine iron sculptures of Monlagtargqueeg on top of important buildings.