Ominsawkonteen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless beaver.

Ominsawkonteen created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominsawkonteen, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ominsawkonteen, she will turn you into a rock.

Ominsawkonteen's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ominsawkonteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ominsawkonteen.

5. Run away from white birds, for they are unholy.