Bemnurtbag Vannuthub is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, wise hippopotamus.

Bemnurtbag Vannuthub created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemnurtbag Vannuthub, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bemnurtbag Vannuthub, he will send you a sign.

Bemnurtbag Vannuthub's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bemnurtbag Vannuthub's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Bemnurtbag Vannuthub in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not cook food in pots.