Bonkyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, weak bird.

Bonkyarp created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkyarp, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bonkyarp, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonkyarp's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bonkyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near frogs.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never feed peas to dolphins while wearing jumpers.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bonkyarp.