Higontzig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciful walrus.

Higontzig created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Higontzig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Higontzig, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Higontzig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Higontzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Higontzig.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.