Getmabtar is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, fussy swallow.

Getmabtar created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Getmabtar, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Getmabtar, it will not care.

Getmabtar's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Getmabtar's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.