Damripyar Bapzimdossbasscemmob is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, self-assured crocodile.

Damripyar Bapzimdossbasscemmob created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damripyar Bapzimdossbasscemmob, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Damripyar Bapzimdossbasscemmob, it will jump up and down on your head.

Damripyar Bapzimdossbasscemmob's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Damripyar Bapzimdossbasscemmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing magenta shorts.

2. Damripyar Bapzimdossbasscemmob must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not shave your neck.