Yartmidcissbetlabbassortbam is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, two-faced chinchilla.

Yartmidcissbetlabbassortbam created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Yartmidcissbetlabbassortbam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yartmidcissbetlabbassortbam, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yartmidcissbetlabbassortbam's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yartmidcissbetlabbassortbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Always help sick sheep.

3. You must love Yartmidcissbetlabbassortbam.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing orange hats and balancing seven lead spheres on your hands.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.