Nellcutyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, awesome fly.

Nellcutyarp created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nellcutyarp, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nellcutyarp, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nellcutyarp's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Nellcutyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

4. Always help hamsters in need.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.