Haphomstik is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, annoying wyrm.

Haphomstik created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haphomstik, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Haphomstik, she will laugh at you.

Haphomstik's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Haphomstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.