Fetsawdim is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, charitable squirrel.

Fetsawdim created the Andromeda Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetsawdim, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fetsawdim, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fetsawdim's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Fetsawdim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Fetsawdim in the centre of the settlement.

5. Retreat if eight ducks approach from the north.