Zaknarteen is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sapient alligator.

Zaknarteen created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zaknarteen, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zaknarteen, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zaknarteen's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Zaknarteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Never hurt squirrels.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.