Vidnartkon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, awe-inspiring penguin.

Vidnartkon created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidnartkon, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vidnartkon, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vidnartkon's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Vidnartkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat gooseberries.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

4. Never paint your neck black.

5. Do not keep five hamsters in a large pit.