Tanjinvig is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, astonishing troll.

Tanjinvig created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanjinvig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tanjinvig, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tanjinvig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Tanjinvig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tanjinvig.

3. Erect seven iron sculptures of Tanjinvig on top of important buildings.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.