Flanfotbamhug Bumlatlist is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, benevolent toad.

Flanfotbamhug Bumlatlist created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Flanfotbamhug Bumlatlist, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flanfotbamhug Bumlatlist, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Flanfotbamhug Bumlatlist's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Flanfotbamhug Bumlatlist's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect three zinc sculptures of Flanfotbamhug Bumlatlist on top of important buildings.